World AIDS Day 2011: 20 is too young to die

Hello my name is Mo Barry. Am 20years old! Yet am serving a jail sentence for a crime I did not commit. To learn more about my crime and sentence read the article below:

Far from the madding crowd; when I walked through the front door of the AIDS ward, the first thing I noticed was the odor. Then, I heard the groaning. Saw pale faces staring at me with sharp eyes like daggers. Heap of pills everywhere, the patients so isolated that no one could hear ever them when screech for help. I remember the occasion quite vividly, although it is over ten years ago in the Gambia. The same struggles for life and battles with AIDS are still present in the lives of nine million people across the globe. They are Young, old; men, women; children and adolescent, all within the same loop of waiting for ARVs on a daily basis.

Yet, such memories will always remain with me. Today, nine million like those people whose staggering sights frightened me; vehement vomits scared me and grisly figures horrified me over ten years ago in the Gambia, are present in different areas around the globe and eagerly waiting for HIV life saving drugs. They include over 40% of people living with HIV in need of HIV treatment in the Gambia just the 85% dreadfully waiting for HIV medications in the Democratic Republic of Congo. This year about two months ago, I felt sick, sick and sick again. My CD4 count was less than 140 and viral load triggered over 150,000 copies – I was hurriedly inching into the world of AIDS and loosing my life to the pandemic; that has griped my generation for over three decades. And as time went by I could not do a lot for myself; I was indeed dying because I refused to start HIV medication while nine million around the globe like become pieces debris. Yet, I was persistent, invigorated, inspired and motivated by the genuine smiles of people whose lives I was trying to better by preventing them from HIV infection and simultaneously enable those in need of medications access them while preventing a virtual genocide from happening across the developing world.

I ran away from my doctor in South Africa and always dodged my medical appointments in London. My nurse at school; would send me mass messages both via email and facebook; yet I ignored her, just like the way I ignored my mom’s phone calls and brothers messages and friends advises. Armed with a stunning grieve and little energy; I wrote letters after letters to the media, to politicians, to friends via facebook, to heads of states, sent tones of messages and visited over 30 colleges and universities last year [2011] – trying to give young people a reason to cherish their health statuses and work towards a generation without AIDS. My ex-girl tapped me on the back at school and asked to go on medications, some of my friends refused to be broken but they were sympathetic behind me and my mom as my brothers noted had sleepless nights – who were also following on facebook to see if am OK. It was tough, it was hard, and it was difficult. As the pains were increasing, ideas were also booming out of my head – I wanted to do so many crazy things like chain myself to the White House in the USA or glue myself to embassies in London to generate attention for the plights of nine million people in need of ARVs globally.

The pains around my body had turned me slightly crazy, I was being suicidal without knowing it and I was stubborn for a reason others could not see including my mom, my doctor, my siblings, my ex-girl friend and friends. But to be honest I found more strength and courage during those bitter days of my life than any other day I have ever graced. Because I was constantly reminded of my role in society by my feeble health status, my doctor in London looked at me into the eyes and wanted to cry, she told me ‘‘is either you start or you will be no more’’. Her statement frowned my courage and threatened my optimism – yet I was still not willing to take the medications. The summer was fading and the winter was gradually coming to live in the UK – And I was at risk of a series of infections! I began to use facebook as my tool of activism and energy; talking to friends about my experiences, updating my status and sending messages randomly – indeed I was random like some of my friends said in response but I was worried that I will die and my inner strength; which is my experience with HIV will perish and become worthless to millions of other who may need to hear about my experiences. But indeed, I realized 20 is too young to die!

So today, marks over two months since I started medications out of an absolute fear of death activated by deteriorating health status and out of a complete fret for my family; which was completely engulfed in sorrow because of my refusal to start medications. I must say am happy, blissful, blessed and indeed lucky to have such an audacity to start medications and stay alive in order to speak for those who did not have a voice before I spoke. Nevertheless, although, the pills have been completely frustrating and almost drove me fanatical at beginning which is always expected because of the magnitude of the side effects; yet am grateful to be alive because of them! This is what I call courage. I think this has been the most courageous act I ever done in my life and serves as a reference point for future actions. Because I have draped courage over fear; optimism over pessimism, hope over despair by starting my HIV medications on the 26th October 2011 in London, United Kingdom. And I vow to continue taking the medications for the rest of time and advocate we find a cure.

Even though, this might sound positive and uplifting; unfortunately to nine possible this days is not very close to their lives. The day when they will get access to HIV medications, the day when will survive the plight of this pandemic the day when they will escape the sufferings triggered by HIV and AIDS. From the young boy who died in Uganda in November because there horrible drugs stock out to the minority populations who remain vulnerable to HIV but cannot access treatment services when they are infected. For the most part, we blame our governments yet for most part we must question the existence of humanity and integrity once more. Indeed, this should be a great reason for communities to turn back to their leaders and ask for accountability when dealing with their lives specifically in the context of AIDS. Thus, it is completely frustrating for me to try to understand that things will get better in the future when half of children born with HIV die before their second birthday in the developing. When drug companies continue to hold on their patents, wealthier nations pushing copy right laws that will make it hard to access not branded HIV drugs not cheaper, less toxic, and affordable generic drugs. Again it is frustrating for political parties to spend millions on party festivals while their members are dying of AIDS on a daily – such lavish spending has been present in South Africa, Nigeria etc.

On the other hand, you might be wondering why I’m mainly focusing on HIV treatment. Just like I mentioned in an open letter to the political leaders of my nation[Gambia] prior to its November 24th elections: HIV treatment bridges divided communities, restores hope, gives a sense of belonging, generate economic interest to any community, reduces healthcare burden and finally curb the number new infections simultaneously. This is why am iterating this point and my personal experience has been a valid reason for me to strong argue for achievement of universal access to treatment for all. Imagine with treatment there is a complete possibility of creating a whole generation free of AIDS. Hence, this will only become a reality if you show a sense of readiness not to see people dying of AIDS in our communities or others get infected or getting discriminated against.

Wearing an ‘‘HIV Positive’’ Branded T-Shirt, I stood before the world specifically before the nations hardest hit by the AIDS epidemic and asked politicians to remove the shroud of silence which has been draped over the issue of HIV and AIDS in the global South with a specific consideration to the Gambia and Senegal where I had the opportunity to address over 1000 and 2,300 people respectively around the World AIDS Day on 1st December 2011 and throughout December 2011. Using different mediums to communicate my bitterness and disappointment around the current state of the AIDS pandemic we live in.

To wrap my article: I want to ask you what are you doing to end AIDS in your own way? You can try to use sports to raise AIDS awareness like I just started running, hitchhiking and biking for health. Bye for now. And remember 20 is too young to die.

Cheers,

– Mo Barry, Global Changemaker from Gambia